for the first time in my life i had to be on my own. europe may sound like a novel location for a fresh start, but it was truly the first time i've been so far away from anyone familiar. even when my parents shipped me to korea for 3 months i at least had my brothers to share the experience. not the case this time, and as a result, i learned a few things about myself along the way...
1. i lack self-confidence. always thot i was pretty sure of myself, but it's amazing how little faith i have in what i do. i owe a lot of my opportunity here in geneva to Mr. Montgomery, former boss, friend and mentor. he's the one that introduced me to GAIN, fwded my resume, and made time for me to meet his contacts. even more than that, he has always supported every endeavor i've taken, and has always seen something more in me than i could. about a month ago i sent him an email congratulating him on the official announcement of his new position. his reply was "as you chart your destiny don't self minimize your value, you are awesome, don't forget it." it's nice to know that from so far away someone is still recognizing my hard work and reminding me to do the same. i'm still always going to have a hard time accepting complements or credit, but i am slowly starting to learn how to have more faith in myself.
2. i'm restless. i know i have commitment issues, but i am really, truly not ready for settling down in MN. i need to move! i enjoy meeting new people and seeing new things in places i've only heard about in languages i don't know. originally i thot being alone w/o having someone to share my experiences with would be hard, and while there have been a few of those moments, i also found traveling by myself easy. i like going at my own pace and picking my own course. and as boring as i may be for the rest of you, i've even learned to enjoy my own company. admittedly, there is something comforting about going home to MN, but at the same time something incredibly distressing when i think i'll be there for the next 9 mos.
3. i need community (this may contradict point #2, but i don't care!). at lunch w/my family on my last day in mpls my younger brother gave me photos of everyone so i "wouldn't forget what they looked like." i have carried those photos w/me everyday since. and now that i've finally built that sense of community here (thank you Village), it's hard to let go.
4. i like to work. that may sound bizarre, but it's true. and it extends beyond just enjoying who i work with and what i'm doing (which fortunately was the case here). i just get real satisfaction from accomplishing something and knowing that my contributions add value.
thank you to those that have allowed me this chance to try something new. i'm eternally grateful for the love and support you've sent. i'll see you soon.
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