Bad Touch!

remember in grade school how you learned a good touch from bad touch? on the way home there were LOTS of bad touching going on! think if they did a little less touching, getting thru security would be much faster...my 4.5 hours in london was barely enough time to make my connection to the US. i can truly say from personal experience gatwick sucks.

landed at LGW only to find out i had to pass thru passport control, find my displaced luggage (thank you BA), take the tram to the other terminal, and get thru security again. by the time i got thru the 45 min wait at the NW ticket counter to check-in my bags for MN, i had almost convinced the security guard bombarding me w/questions i was not a terrorist.

after that was the 50min wait to go thru Round 1 of bad touching. they REALLY touch you. had experienced this on the way thru to geneva, but they've either expanded the boundaries or i've just shut out the bad memories. sorry, no pictures...

by the time i got thru, i had just enough time to grab some coffee and run to my gate. thot it was all over, but had forgotten in my violated state that people flying to the US get a 2nd rub down. Round 2 consisted of some lady named betty giving me the ROYAL TREATMENT at the gate, followed by a full inspection of what was in my carry-on bag (my thots in parentheses):

betty w/a very inquistive look on her face: what's this?
me (BAD TOUCH!): a cell phone.
betty: please turn it on.
i turn it on

betty: what's this?
me (I'VE BEEN VIOLATED!): a camera.
betty: please turn it on.
i turn it on

betty: what's this?
me (YOU GRABBED MY BOOB!): a computer.
betty: please turn it on.
i turn it on

in retrospect i guess it could have been worse. i could have had a vibrator in my bag...

finally boarded just before take-off, only to be stuck sitting on the plane at the gate for another hour. heard the hold-up was due to someone like me, but sharing their thots on bad touching out loud...