it's 2am and i can't sleep.
my status as a person of color has come into question for as long as i can remember, but most recently within the last month. it came up again tnite, and it's really bugging me.
according to some of my friends, i'm "not like the rest of them." what the hell is that suppose to mean???
i'm Asian. i have tan skin w/yellow undertones. i have dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, and a different name. my family immigrated to the US w/me. why do people keep telling me how American i am?
i realize i'm not just off the boat. i dress like an American and i sound like an American. but for some reason people seem to forget that i come from a very Korean household that celebrates Korean culture, and is very aware that we stand out in minnesota...
and then those same friends turn to me when they need support on a race issue. suddenly i'm Asian again? what the f*ck?
while i'm very proud to be who i am, that doesn't mean i want to be used as a poster child for diversity just because i look different. when are people going to learn to ask and not assume?
unfortunately it doesn't appear that my opinion really matters. people have already made up their minds on which category to stick me in when it's convenient for them.
i'm not a quota, i'm not a statistic, and i'm not an idiot. so quit treating me like one.
2 comments:
Commenting a bit late .. I hope the feeling is gone. I know exactly how r u feeling and what is like. I wish i had some super wise technique for not caring,when ppl assume you are different based on looks or use you for whatever quota they have to fill .. but I still haven't found one. I guess not caring is the best one :) .. and well .. on a different note. Love ur blog and miss u in Geneva!!
Valentina
vale - your timing is amazing! my dear, you have no idea how much i needed this boost of encouragement. i spent an hour today writing down thots and concerns about a project at school (unfortunately diversity/race was part of the issue), and it was UBER depressing. and then i found your comment and it has turned my day around. you're the best!
missing all of you and Geneva too. only 7 more months to go before my degree is complete and i can run away again...
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