I Feel Like a Lab Rat

today was the biopsy day, and it came and went.

and it hurt more than i thot it would.

and even tho today wasn't fun, i'm pretty sure they won't find anything and i'm GRATEFUL for that. i know plenty of people who have had it way worse than me so i really shouldn't complain. i think i'm just getting impatient and really just want to know why there's things growing on the side of my neck...

(and if you think it's my lost twin, it's not.)

for those of you that haven't experienced a needle biopsy, it goes something like this: you get poked w/a needle that "aspirates", or collects, a tissue sample.

at least that's how i understood it before going in.

what they don't necessarily tell you (and what i naively found out today) was that after they poke your lymph node w/the needle, they PUMP THE NEEDLE VIGOROUSLY BACK and FORTH in the lymph node for a very long 10-15 secs to get as much tissue to sample as possible. it's like 1 big stab, followed by a bunch of little ones...

and just when you think the fun is over, WAIT! THERE'S MORE! they repeat the process all over again w/a new needle!

i was stabbed 4 times today. 4 TIMES!

there was some pain, but it really didn't hit til later. like now...

and on top of it all, i might have to get chopped open anyways. the specialist and the pathologist informed me today that this test only gives an indication for non-hodgkins lymphoma and nothing else. if i want to also rule out (or confirm) hodgkins lymphoma, i have to have lymph nodes removed. and of course that's what they think i have and why i was recommended to go under the knife to begin with.

whatever happened to waiting for the science and diagnosing based on test results??? i think they're both chop-happy. so now i guess we'll just wait and see...